Show Up, Shut Up, and Tune In: Listening That Leads to Understanding

Wright, L. (2025, May 15). Show up, shut up, and tune in: Listening that leads to understanding. Grant Parish Chronicle, 151(2).

We’ve all been there—sitting across from someone, nodding politely, smiling on cue—only to realize we have no idea what they just said. Not because we’re rude and not because we don’t care, but because our minds were elsewhere: crafting a reply, solving a problem, or scrolling through our iPhone notifications.

That realization hit me like a wave a few years ago when a friend paused mid-conversation and said, “You’re not really listening, are you?” She was right; I wasn’t truly present—not in the way that fosters trust, connection, or real understanding. It marked a turning point in how I approach personal and professional conversations. I realized effective listening isn’t just a soft skill—it’s a power move that begins with one simple practice:

Show up. Shut up. Tune in.

Before you can truly hear someone, you must be fully present—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Active listening begins with undivided attention. It means putting down your phone, closing your laptop, and offering your full presence to the moment. In relationships, this might mean making eye contact, nodding, or leaning in. At work, it involves resisting the urge to multitask during Zoom calls and instead focusing on both what is said and how it is said.

Presence is a choice, and it’s the first sign that you care. I say this with love and a smile: sometimes, the best thing you can say is nothing. Too often, we listen just enough to interrupt. We jump in with advice, finish someone’s sentence, or steer the story back to ourselves: “Oh, that happened to me, too!” But when we quiet our inner narrator, something powerful happens: they feel seen. Active listening means giving the other person space, not filling it with your own thoughts.

A practical tip: the next time you feel the urge to interrupt, pause, take a breath, and instead say, “Tell me more.”

Real understanding happens when we tune in beyond the words. It means noticing body language, tone, energy shifts, and facial expressions. It’s hearing the sigh after a sentence, the hesitation before a response, the “I’m fine” that doesn’t quite sound fine. When you tune in, you’re not just listening—you’re receiving someone’s truth.

Five actionable steps to help you shift from passive hearing to meaningful understanding include the following:

1.           Make eye contact and eliminate distractions.

2.           Reflect on what you heard: “So what you’re saying is . . .”

3.           Ask open-ended questions that invite depth.

4.           Pause before responding—let silence do its work.

5.           Be curious, not corrective. It’s a dialogue, not a debate.

Final Thoughts: Listen Like It Matters—Because It Does

Every conversation is an opportunity to show someone they matter. You don’t need credentials or the perfect words to do that. You just need to be present, stay quiet, and truly tune in. Whether you’re leading a team, supporting a partner, or coaching a client, listening is the bridge between knowing and understanding. The next time someone speaks, ask yourself the following:

Am I here? Am I quiet? Am I tuned in?

That’s how you move from active listening to actual understanding.